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A Parenting Book That Gets Real

August 1, 2010

This is Not How I Thought It Would Be
Remodeling Motherhood To Get the Lives We Want Today

written by Kristin Maschka
Penguin Group, 2009
parenting book

I wonder how many of you, like me, could have written this book.

Things were going along just great . . . and then you had kids. And, as Maschka writes, “the vomit hit the fan” — and sprayed all over your neat and happy life.

Maschka explores why we suddenly stop taking care of ourselves, the way our relationship with our husband changes, money, childcare — and she doesn’t pretend about anything.  She constantly reminds us that we all have our own experiences, we are unique and it’s all okay — even if for some, it’s not all blissful and roses every day.

The following excerpt captures this book for me. It’s from page 149.

“Square Pegs:  A Fairy Tale in Three Acts.  Act Two.

When the couple’s happy ending went up in smoke,  it as very hard to see through all that haze.  The two got separated, and the young woman got very lost and very frustrated.  She wandered the forest with the baby struggling to find her way.  She was very angry with her husband for not helping her.  she became quite convinced that he was the one who had messed up the happy ending and was merrily traveling the forest without her.

But as she started to get her bearings alone in the forest, she caught glimpses of her husband far away in the smoky haze.  As her sight became clearer, she realized to her surprise . . . he was lost too.”

This book doesn’t sugar coat parenting but it doesn’t leave the reader stuck in the muck of it either.  Maschka provides “Remodeling Tools” and “Insights” to push us as parents to grow beyond the difficult places.

It’s a refreshing read; helpful and one with which I connected.

Read a sample here.

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